[B]The Corrs[/B] with a cause? [B]Girlschool[/B] with tighter halternecks? That'll be Canadian quartet [a]Kittie[/a]

The Corrs with a cause? Girlschool with tighter halternecks? That’ll be Canadian quartet [a]Kittie[/a]. And if that doesn’t put you off, just wait ’til their devilish black metal grunting sinks its talons into your ribcage and juggles with a few vital organs.

Like kindred spirits System Of A Down, [a]Kittie[/a] want to give you the impression that they’re just too tasty to fuk wit, too unhinged to view as normal folk, too pierced for the mainstream. All poppycock, of course, when their social extremism amounts to tossing tired adolescent-friendly soundbites around (‘Do You Think I’m A Whore’, ‘Get Off (You Can Eat A Dick)’), writing their sleevenotes a LoT LiKe THiS and whacking the low frequencies up so they threaten to loosen bowels at 1,000 paces. RaD.

Which is the cruellest of ironies because, if they didn’t feel they had to try so hard, [a]Kittie[/a] could be one of the most (uncom)promising fem-centric rock’n’roll bands of the new millennium. There’s certainly a modicum of bona fide angst on tracks like ‘Suck’, and [a]Kittie[/a] totally understand the life-affirming effect of ridiculous low-end riffage. But no, guitarist Fallon Bowman and company are way too conscious of the nu-metal zeitgeist to affect any real menace.

So with the teencore legions satiated, it’s back to the serious matter of keeping an eye on those all-important sales demographics.