Pop Idol : The Big Band Album
Simon Cowell's bastard offspring together again...
Let’s blame [a]Robbie Williams[/a] for this. C’mon, it’ll be fun. Okay, it’s not like his spare rib was used to create Darius – at least, not as far as we can prove – but it was Mr Entertainment who reintroduced the concept of the big band album into the popular imagination. And now, we have this dismal artefact: 13 standards of McDonald’s-style ubiquity sung by Pop Idol finalists, people who make the cast of Grange Hill look like an illegal charisma factory.
If you want a record where Darius croons ‘Let There Be Love’ with all the grace of an industrial accident, sweet little Gareth laughably tackles ‘Mack The Knife’ or the forgettable Jessica drizzles through ‘Every Time We Say Goodbye’, then you’re probably eligible for the government’s Winter Heating allowance. Anyone whose idea of a “treat” isn’t a tin of Quality Street, however, knows exactly what they should do to this low swing.