Applications for the position of Coldplay are now closed, chaps
Chris Martin is the Alan Sugar of the weepy acoustic world, swapping Amstrads for reverb, and warbling ‘Fix You’ at Margaret. However, unlike Sir Alan, and unfortunately for Storey, the Coldplay CEO isn’t looking for an apprentice. It’s not that this four-piece aren’t talented – they’re clearly proficient musicians – and it’s not that their songs are particularly bad. It’s just that they’re 10 years too late. At their gigs the audience probably look at each other awkwardly as they murmur, “Do you want to tell them, or shall I?” There’s little to inspire even die-hard indie-poppers in ‘Streets Will Fold’, and if Chris Martin was Sir Alan they’d be in the taxi whining about their swift exit faster than you can say, “You’re fired”.