Quayside, Newcastle, Monday May 28

“Our new album is going to teach indie kids how to dance,” Chromeo boast as they fiddle with their knobs on the Imagination Stage. “Because if they keep punching the air they’re never going to have sex.” While it’s a noble aim, it’s not one that hasn’t been done, ooh, an hour before, by Shy Child.

Over at Spillers Wharf, Kano shakes off the girls who’ve come to swoon over his model looks by serving up a set that’s uncharacteristically chaotic. The Enemy, meanwhile, continue milking drama from the fusty folds of ASBO Britain, while back at Baltic Square Simian Mobile Disco are laughing manically as indifference melts before their rave brimstone, the quayside glowing with Primark luminescence.

Hot Club De Paris are our Marxist pop saviours, no doubt taking a gilt-edged leaf out of Maximo Park’s book. Cod-literate, flat-pack indie uglies though they may be, when Paul Smith and co plug in on home ground, they can do no wrong. Their greatest hits set isn’t great, but is strangely satisfying. The bands on the Tyne, it seems, are all right.

Norven Kane/Rebecca Robinson