Movie review: A Nightmare on Elm Street
Freddy is back slicing and dicing in your sleep - but this is one remake you'll want to sleep through
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Cert: 18, 95 mins
Starring: Rooney Mara, Jackie Earle Haley, Quentin O’Grady
Freddy is back bothering kids with narcolepsy in this tame remake of Wes Craven‘s 1984 horror classic. It says it all about this itchy retread by Samuel Bayer that, by the time our heroine Nancy (Rooney Mara) falls asleep in class and sees the chilling visage of her recently-murdered friend in the school corridor, calling to her while still in her bloody body bag, three of her other, similarly disposable, friends have already been sliced and diced.
In the original, only her friend had died at this point, and the desire to get to the “good stuff” proves its undoing.
Again, Freddy Krueger (now played by Jackie Earle Haley) has bladed gloves that must make picking his nose awkward, and again he only appears in his victim’s dreams, yet can kill them for real.
Yet where the original took time to build suspense, this is happier hopping from one blood-spraying Krueger dream sequence to the next, each using the standard tactic of a REALLY LOUD noise when Krueger appears, and each managing to make every horrific death more horrifically boring than the last.
You end up with two thoughts: can a film still be scary once it’s been parodied by The Simpsons? And just because falling asleep will bring you to a certain agonising, painful end, if you do it in while watching this film, could anyone really blame you?