You know Fountains Of Wayne, right? Creepy old alterna-rock dudes writing songs about 13-year-olds fancying their best friend’s “mom”, like Busted if they’d been neutered and fattened up on cheeseburgers. Fountains would say this was OK, of course – they’re all about writing universal pop songs for the American everyman, like Bacharach or Brian Wilson. But there are two reasons why ‘Traffic And Weather’ sucks. One, their songs are either shitty soft-rock or worse, wink-nudge pastiches like the new-wavey ‘Someone To Love’. And two, they deal in the sort of cod-sentimentality that’s as smug and contrived as Bono peeling onions.