While Record Store Day took place at the weekend, celebrating the ever-rarer music shop with a load of treasures from Radiohead, White Stripes and Warpaint, the music industry continued pumping out new releases at a relentless rate. Let’s look at the new tracks released in the UK April 18th, starting with bottom of the barrel.
Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack & Nayer – ‘Give Me Everything’
So, how many types of wrong is this? Well, you’ve got your earnest vocal gibbering about living in the moment. You’ve got your cheap rave wibble, a high frequency irritation that buzzes throughout like a fly trapped in jism. There’s a rap phoned in long distance about (ugh) Lindsay Lohan and beats the guy who makes Yamaha’s demo music would be embarrassed to submit. Everything about this is sterile, joyless and fake – even the bangin’ ho they’ve got to beautify the video looks like an orange cyborg from the Planet Perfection. Still, at least he gives a heads up to Megadeth at the beginning. If you’re passed by a car pumping this over the weekend do the honourable thing – put in a bullet in every passengers head.
Ke$ha – ‘Blow’
Kesha looks at Pitbull’s four strong writing team and raises them. ‘Blow’, according to Jimmy Wales’ crew, was written and produced by no less than TEN people, including herself, Dr Luke and Kool Kojak. Sticking with Wikipedia, it apparently portrays “a simple message of having a desire to have a good time at a club”. Only problem is, you’d need enough ketamine to sedate the entire Grand National to reach a reality where this song becomes dance-friendly. It’s terminably dull, so boring, null and void that even a convoluted video featuring him off Dawson’s Creek and some unicorns can’t raise interest levels above meh.
Nicki Minaj – ‘Girls Fall Like Dominoes’
This is more like it. While Minaj’s vocal frippery doesn’t quite reach the jaw-dropping heights of her album, she delivers a flow that should put Pitbull and anyone he’s ever encountered in the studio to shame over just enough of the tune she tea leafed. She takes an epic song but adds enough lines, new production and orchestration to call it her own. Indie snobs may protest but I bet The Big Pink themselves love it. In fact, I just googled it and Robbie said: “Its all good man one nation under one groove”. So there.
Cut Copy – ‘Need You Now’
I miss the Cut Copy of old. There, I said it. While most CC fans will love whatever they put out, I can’t get with the new stuff. I want more ‘Lights And Music’. More ‘Hearts Of Fire’. I want the visceral punch not the slow burn woozy. Cut Copy circa 2007, I need you now.
The Streets – ‘OMG’
This is painful to listen to. Quite how such beautiful, nuanced and original nostalgia pop can be made by a guy on his way out of the industry doesn’t really bear thinking about. Mike Skinner drops another farewell as he prepares for the victory lap and it’s all the proof you need that he wasn’t running empty on ideas. Enjoy it, because he’ll be gone soon, with the industry’s pitbulls snapping at his heels and drooling incessant dross from here on out.
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