Mmmmmm. Lovely, pass the boiled sweets, will you, darling. Oh look, Little Chef two miles ahead. Let’s stop for a lovely pancake. Soon be there, darling, your father and I have booked a room at the Travelodge. The rooms are lovely and clean, you know. What’s this on Radio Humberside? Oh [a]REM[/a]! You like [a]REM[/a], don’t you, darling?
AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH. Apologies but this record provokes horrific Proustian reconstructions within your correspondent’s delicate psyche of eternal intolerable middle-class adolescent airless car journeys. The soundtrack to these Mondeo Miseries was inevitably one of the popular compilations of the 1970s’ ‘Hooked On Classics‘. Here we have the late-’90s version.
What’s wrong with these people? Not content with your Mozarts and Beethovens, the Philharmonic have now plundered the [a]REM[/a] back catalogue. Admittedly their choices are from the wimpy era of Athens’ finest, mostly from ‘Out Of Time‘ and ‘Automatic For The People‘. Entirely instrumental, of course, so at least we’re spared some obese Italian crooning, “Hey kids/ Rock’n’roll/Nobody tells you where to go”, over the charming viola solo during ‘Drive‘.
These pompous knobs have managed to strip [a]REM[/a] of all their artifice and mystique and created music which is only of interest to the mysterious Mr Big who DJs in the world’s lifts, supermarkets and departure lounges.