Clubber’s Guide To… 2000 – Mixed by Judge Jules
[I](Ministry Of Sound)[/I]
In which Beelzebub’s own DJ delivers a crash course in mindless happy house for gurning ravers too ‘sorted’ to realise they’re being shafted by the glo-stick of corporate mediocrity.
Necessary or evil? Emphatically the latter; with huge disco bells on. If your idea of fun is listening to 41 utterly anonymous handbag ‘anthems’, then you may derive some joy from ‘Clubber’s…”s safe-as-milk grooves. If not, avoid like month-old Wensleydale. 1/10
Hold Back The Night – OST Remixes
Fuel’s resident remixers Tipper, Radioactive Man and Voice Stealer set about the 1999 Britflick’s original soundtrack with their bounteous satchel of scowling subterranean rhythms.
Necessary or evil? The mainsail may be spliced by the latest juddering breakbeats but the controls are set – rather charmingly – for the heart of the ’80s. Wisely, Messrs Tipper and co bypass deely-boppered kitsch in favour of the bleeping, Vangelis-style minimalism of ‘To Be With You’. Meanwhile, ‘The Light Of Day’ keeps the icy-hearted, late-night flame ablaze by gently rocking an early-Massive Attack vibe. 6/10
A pan-global voyage around future funk’s bulbous girth, courtesy of everyone from Gilles Peterson to Kruder & Dorfmeister. What’s more, each of the 12 featured artists represent a different country – making this a cuddly, Eurovision-style exercise in nation-unifying altruism. Possibly.
Necessary or evil? With Germany’s Beanfield providing the funked-up trance and Japanese boffins UFO donating their prog-spun beats, ‘Transatlantic…’ makes for a bravely eclectic – albeit occasionally baffling – sonic stew. 7/10
Dope On Plastic 7
The latest instalment of ‘Dope…”s eminent, long-running saga proffers yet more bargain beatz and value-for-money breakz. And ‘z’s.
Necessary or evil? The refreshing lack of purism on display means the vaunted vibe is less dancefloor precision and more booty-quaking fun – albeit in an endearingly obsolete, big-beat stylee. Still, the likes of Achisa’s ‘Say No To Guns’ prove that poodle-metal guitars and sampled monkey noises will always have a place in techno’s munificent sphere. Booyaka, indeed. 7/10
Boasting enough sonic ballast to support it’s bombastic moniker, ‘Y3K‘ is an admirably resourceful rummage through breakbeat’s bulging larder.
Necessary or evil? The presence of T-Power and mighty misanthropes Slacker ensure the compilation’s more trance-y moments are bolstered by a solid, bass-driven backbone. Pretentious? [I]Naturellement[/I]. But BT & Hybrid’s dreamy collaboration – ‘Running Down The Way Up’ – hints that dance music’s future may well lie in breakbeat’s zealous mitts. 8/10