If That Were Me

Remember, charity begins at home. So bear the neighbours in mind and wear headphones...

It takes a special kind of character to remain unfazed by the goldfish bowl existence of modern celebrity, where every flirtation and fall-out is instant headline news. Some go mad, some run away, and some don tracksuits and tackle each challenge with a chuckle and some good old-fashioned down-to-earth Scouse charm. They will love their mams, giggle at the word ‘gangbang’ and all their money will go to charity.

So here, then, is the debut single from Craig off TV’s ‘Big Brother’. Oops, sorry, I mean the 18th single from sometime Spice Girl Melanie C’s ‘Northern Star’ album.

Winningly, all the proceeds from the sale of ‘If That Were Me’ are indeed going to help the homeless – although, sadly, the copy we have before us today doesn’t reveal any details of which particular charity will be benefitting. In the meantime, why not pop along to www.shelter.org.uk and make a donation.

If, after doing so, you still want to hear our Mel trilling – and this is not a joke – [I]”I couldn’t live without my phone/But you don’t even have a home”[/I], well, hell, just remember that charity begins at home. So bear the neighbours in mind and wear headphones.

Andrew Wagstaff