Kelly Osbourne featuring Incubus : Papa Don’t Preach

Daddy must be so proud

So Kelly… you’ve become a TV star thanks to having pink hair and a famous dad, so obviously you’ve decided to be a pop star. With a really appropriate cover version, because it’s got ‘Papa’ in it, and your ‘papa’ is [a]Ozzy Osbourne[/a]!

Never mind that the rest of the song makes precisely zero sense, and that the presence of Incubus makes the whole sorry mess barely distinguishable from those hilarious ‘ironic’ cover versions that pierce the Camden air nightly, because you’re Kelly Osbourne, and you don’t fucking care! Brilliant! Any other over-privileged TV star launching a wannabe pop career is a crime against humanity, but you’re just fine! Daddy must be so proud.

Peter Robinson