The Pigeon Detectives

Take Her Back

Very much a song with no time for extended pleasantries, this one. No “how’s your father. Shocking weather we’re having, and yeah, isn’t that Johnny Borrell a bit of knob?”.

No, “Take Her Back” is straight to the point. Name? Age? Up for it? And then it’s down with the trousers and off for a quick knee-trembler round the back of the bike sheds, supermarket or other robust structure that won’t collapse in a stiff wind. “He’s not sure what he should do/She’s 17, he’s 22, is that too much of a difference?” yammers singer Matt Bowman, as his Pigeon Detectives attempt to approximate a bubbling cauldron of adolescent lust using only guitar, bass, drums and a “Year Zero” placard planted somewhere between the debut single by The Ordinary Boys and “Generator” by The Holloways.

For some, it’s true, such a tale of seduction and subsequent coupling would be the cue for a zeitgeist-grappling tract on age, morality and the whereabouts of the modern generation gap. In general, though, “Take Her Back” seems to be very much of the opinion that legality permitting, you should basically go dip your wick and to hell with the consequences. Oh, sure, there’s a quick minor key bit just after the guitar solo where Bowman ponders what might happen if you engage in what the tabloids would describe as “a sex act” with some girl and then your mates see her on the bus on the way to school the next day, but it doesn’t really seem to have taken the wind out of his sails, if you know what we mean.

All good innocent fun then, and just so long as Gary Glitter doesn’t decide to cover it as his comeback single, it’s a loveable bit of no-frills naughtiness with all the innocent humour of a nurse in high heels being chased by Sid James with his flies underdone. Alternatively, if you find this sort of thing all a bit racy for your tender sensibilities, you could sing along and change the chorus to “Take a bath! Take a bath!” Strikes us that’d probably be pretty funny.

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