Basement Jaxx : Red Alert
The 49 eggs laid by Alice Nutter (our 47-year-old saltwater she-croc) have just hatched and all but three of the cute little mud-rats were seized and eaten by Old One Eye – the battle-scarred, but still dominant North American alligator. What a fantastic crocodilian metaphor for how the evil Dadrock Conspiracy is attempting to crush the [a]Bis[/a]-inspired Teen C Revolution!
Rumours abound about dissent in the [a]Bis[/a] politburo. “We must pursue a relentless policy of permanent revolution in unflinching opposition to the running dogs of dadrockism and in ever more fervent pursuit of Teen C-dom!” rants the General Secretary Sci-Fi Steven.
“We cannot afford the luxury of Comrade Steven‘s puerile ultra-leftism,” responds People’s Commissar Disco John. “Instead we must wage a war of relentless propaganda to establish
the minds of the kids the shining and heroic image of the Great
C Helmsman – John Major!”
“Well, I think that Comrade Steve and Comrade John
being very, very silly and so does my friend Comrade Mr Flopsy the Bunny Wunny,” interjects Manda Rin sagely.
But don’t worry kids, the three intellectual powerhouses have resolved their differences and come up with a killer compromise lyric: “Born in lowly circus and christened John Major Ball by his trapeze artist parents/He nonetheless overcame his humble origins and became leader of this great land/Ocean Colour Scene are the musical equivalent of the Spanish Inquisition and Hitler’s SS/ Women who dress a bit daft are the niggers of the world/Votes for toddlers now!/Teen C revolution!/Go!’.