Tags Mark My Words

Mark My Words

Mark, My Words: Sorry Greta, but I think we should rock our way into oblivion

Coldplay shouldn't stop touring to help the environment, they'd do more good on the road, argues columnist Mark Beaumont

Mark, My Words: Morrissey’s latest stunt misses the point – it’s not the autograph fans want, it’s the moment with their idol

“For Mr Mark – 20 years on with love and gratitude, Coldplay”. As I pulled the signed white label of ‘Everyday Life’ from the envelope,...

Mark, My Words: Kanye’s onto something with his pre-marital sex ban for collaborators. Shaggers make the worst music

The best part of pre-marital sex, of course, is that it’s sinful. No-one would bother if it wasn’t for that added frisson of impending...

Mark, My Words: The best-selling albums of the 21st Century list is an indelible stain on all humanity

When the aliens finally descend from their observation modules to pick through the ruins of our once mighty civilisation looking for remnants of the...

Mark, My Words: why God’s music is the devil’s work

Today, I was denied by Christ. Christ was closed. The internet had told me that Christ was open until 7pm, but when I arrived...

Mark, My Words: why we need a ‘fuck’ amnesty in rock

“Just one look and I lose control,” wails David Coverdale, big hair flapping in the breeze from a wind machine he presumably has surgically...

Mark, My Words: tellyfests are here to save our summers

It takes an almost Brexit-ian level of masochism to watch the squalor, underworld savagery and hat-based violence of Peaky Blinders and decide you quite...

Mark, My Words: I want justice for the most criminally ignored album of all time

David Miliband. The perfectly lovely couple who finally get onto the Coach Trip coach two days before it hits Ibiza. The new political party that...

Mark, My Words: I give you crank wave, the start of the subculture revival

According to the best medical minds on the planet (well, I Googled it), my chronic infection of ‘advanced critic’ might have reached stage four:...

Mark, My Words: why every great band needs a Rick Astley sidekick

Every day, something new threatens my fragile faith in reality. A sociopathic Honey Monster becomes Prime Minister. Those two posh women tell everyone on...

Mark, My Words: Club NME is back, and I feel like a proud parent

The everyday heroism of music journalism so often goes under-appreciated. I’m not saying we’re exactly the same as doctors, fire-fighters, lifeguards and ambulance crews, but...

Mark, My Words: Respect to Idris Elba for not even knowing what Cats is about – I’d have taken the cash too

Outside of the odd pointless Pointless answer, a shame-free Glastonbury and the occasional Google ranking boost from being abused by Liam Gallagher on Twitter,...

Mark, My Words: I don’t hate this year’s Mercury Prize shortlist and it’s making me question reality

Like Jeremy Hunt hearing a fox being ripped apart by dogs and instantly getting an erection as tiny yet firm as a thimble made...

Mark, My Words: ‘Chasing Cars’ is proof that your radio hates you

So tell me, when was the moment you lost your last, flimsy shred of faith and respect for humanity and began to look forward...

Mark, My Words: stop the everlasting ‘80s revival, I want to get off

The Tron dancers grab their neon poles and sink beneath the stage. Matt Bellamy, his jacket covered in flashing dot matrix lights and his face transformed...

Mark, My Words: how long before the viral Glasto fans become the new superstars?

I’m beginning to believe there’s nothing Piers Morgan can’t ruin. He could present me with the Nobel Prize for literature and it’d instantly be rendered...

Mark, My Words: what it’s really like taking a baby to Glastonbury

The most broken people at Glastonbury? Not the unconscious Minion face down in a carton of dried falafel vomit in an otherwise empty Pyramid Stage...

Mark, My Words: James Arthur doesn’t deserve a Glastonbury slot – he should earn one

Quick, don’t think, just shout out the most Glastonbury act that pops into your head. Billy Bragg, you say? The Levellers? Chumbawamba? Coldplay? King...

Mark, My Words: sorry Glasto-moaners, you’re going to the wrong festival

I’m starting to believe that the internet is much like Pete Doherty eyeing up a fried breakfast. Never satisfied. Netflix original movie, socialist politician,...

Mark, My Words: no, Roger Daltrey, bands won’t be able to tour like “before the EU”

Everything’s so simple if you really sit down and don’t think about it. Case in point: the notoriously black-or-white, cut-and-dried issue of Brexit. “As...
Advertisement