TRNSMT

Arctic Monkeys’ Alex Turner

When: 29 June – 8 July

Where: Glasgow Green, Glasgow

Who’s headlining: Arctic Monkeys, The Killers, Liam Gallagher, Queen + Adam Lambert

Who else is playing: The Script, James Bay, Courteeners, Wolf Alice, J Hus, Interpol, Blossoms, Chvrches, Franz Ferdinand, Pale Waves

Tickets: £260 for all five days, £155 for three-day ticket, day tickets £59.50-65

Remember T In The Park? Ah, Biffy Clyro, group tactical vomits, shitting by some bins, glory days.

Whatever happened to it? Some ospreys told it to bugger off, and there was a monumental traffic jam to get out. So now we have TRNSMT instead, in the far more accessible environs of Glasgow Green.

Will it be as messy? As messy as the noble Scots can make it and, having won Best New Festival in 2017, it’ll definitely be every bit as good. The headliners are world class, and though some of the support acts seem to be there to lure in passing trade on its way to Yates’ Wine Lodge (hello James Bay).

Still, what about them Monkeys, eh? Quite, TRNSMT is the only UK festival headline set Arctic Monkeys have announced so far.

So it’s basically our only chance to see them in 2018? Unless you happen to go to Europe at any point where, looking at their exhaustive schedule, they’ll almost certainly be playing in a car park or cordoned off town square within fifty feet or so of your hotel.