Is Theresa May the worst dancer in the world of politics?
Yes. Theresa May is clearly the world’s worst dancing politician. That video of the Prime Minister dancing with South African children in Cape Town, which went viral today, and which made her look like your ironing board strutting its way into your hallway, ready for action, is bizarre, undeniable proof of this. Yet Theresa, known in some circles at The Maybot, is not the first politician to dance like a robot from 1984. Recent history is littered with instance of these serious people doing silly things, in full view of cameras and people with internet connections.
Theresa May shows off her dance moves as she starts her Africa trade tour in style. pic.twitter.com/Ohzj3l68Rn
— Channel 4 News (@Channel4News) August 28, 2018
The late Boris Yeltsin was noted for being Russia’s first democratically elected President, yes, but was also widely regarded as the greatest politician of all time when it came to busting a move. In 2007, when he died, The Guardian asked, “Was Boris Yeltsin the best dancing politician ever?” and, readers, concluded: “While his countrymen often cringed at Yeltsin’s dancing-bear antics, they endeared him to much of the rest of the world.” There is so much Theresa could have learned from Mr. Yeltsin throwing shapes at a rally in Russia: loosen up, clap, look like you’re actually having a good time. Instead, she looked like she trying to put on her socks after a particularly strenuous work-out.
If Yeltsin has any natural successors, they’re Canadian dreamboat Justin Trudeau – who brought a smile to the world’s face when he danced to Bhangra in 2015, and again in 2018, because the man just can’t get enough – and Britain’s entertainingly named Ed Balls, who busted out ‘Gangnam Style’ on Strictly Come Dancing in 2016. At the time, these were treated as embarrassing follies, but, in comparison to the Maybot’s rusty, badly programmed jives, look like legendary, once-lost deleted scenes from Saturday Night Fever. They’re dancing men, and they just can’t lose.
Probably the coolest politician of all time, Barack Obama was celebrated for this dance moves and, in this regard, his crowning glory came when he shimmied with BB King and Mick Jagger at the White House, crooning ‘Sweet Home Chicago’ with surprising aplomb. Hilary Clinton failed in her bid to become his Presidential successor, but she had a bloody good old boogie during a trip to South Africa in 2012. Donald Trump looked shit when he bopped from side to side in Saudia Arabia, but at least he wasn’t really trying. Theresa appeared to put some effort in, which is what makes the whole sorry episode so embarrassing.
It appears someone attempted to programme some humanity into the Maybot, but there was a glitch in the Matrix. In her approximation of humanity, Theresa revealed her true robotic nature. Like YouTube phenomenon Poppy speaking in the manner of a broken algorithm, or the Terminator’s blazing red eye, it’s the combination of normality and weirdness that makes it so hard to resist the video of the Prime Minister whirring into action. In a couple of years, when the UK is merely dust and rubble, the Maybot will continue to clank and jive, its battery ebbing away, that golden Strictly slot firmly in its sights.