“You’ll be pleased to know this is the last time I’m hosting these awards, so I don’t care anymore,” Ricky Gervais said as he began his opening monologue at the 2020 Golden Globes tonight (January 5). After 2019’s co-hosts Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh killed it with kindness, the British comedian didn’t hold back in bringing the Hollywood stars in front of him down a peg or two at his fifth and typically brutal hosting gig. These are the most controversial, on-the-nose and darkly funny moments from his opening monologue.
On the industry execs in the room
“But tonight isn’t just about the people in front of the camera. In this room are some of the most important film and tv executives in the world. People from every background, but they all have one thing in common. They’re all terrified of Ronan Farrow. He’s coming for you.”
On a lack of diversity in the nominees
“Many talented people of colour were snubbed in major categories. Unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do about that because the Hollywood Foreign Press are all very, very racist.”
“We were going to do an In Memoriam tonight but when I saw the list, it wasn’t diverse enough. It was mostly white people and I thought ‘Nah, not on my watch’.”
On the ceremony and season 2 of After Life
“You could binge-watch the entire first season of After Life instead of watching this show. That’s a show about a man who wants to kill himself because his wife dies of cancer, and it’s still more fun than this. Spoiler alert, Season 2 is on the way, so in the end, he obviously didn’t kill himself. Just like Jeffrey Epstein. Shut up. I know he’s your friend, but I don’t care.”
On Leonardo DiCaprio
@rickygervais “Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere and by the end his date was too old for him." ?#GoldenGlobes #RickyGervais #OUATIH #LeonardoDiCaprio #Tarantino #goldenglobes2020 pic.twitter.com/lvjfLmIPkj
— Mwiinga Gregory ?? (@Thearchct) January 6, 2020
“The Irishman was amazing … It wasn’t the only epic movie. Once Upon A Time… In Hollywood was nearly three hours long. Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere and by the end, his date was too old for him. Even Prince Andrew’s like, ‘Come on, mate, you’re nearly 50, son’.”
— Dyl (@Dylanoneill_95) January 6, 2020
“The world got to see James Corden as a fat pussy. He was also in the movie Cats. But no one saw that. and the reviews? Shocking. I saw one that said this is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs.”
“Dame Judi Dench defended the film, saying it was the role she was born to play because she… [laughs] I can’t do this next joke. Because she loves nothing better than plunking her ass down on the carpet, lifting her legs and licking her own minge. She’s old school.”
On The Morning Show
Ricky Gervais to celebrities at the Golden Globes: "You're in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world."
Ends by telling award winners to "f**k off."
Incredible video: pic.twitter.com/awdL4E2Zyf
— David Hookstead (@dhookstead) January 6, 2020
“Apple roared into the TV game with The Morning Show, a superb drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing, made by a company that runs sweatshops in China.”
On Hollywood’s performative wokeness
“The companies you work for, unbelievable. Apple, Amazon, Disney. If ISIS starting a streaming service, you’d call your agent, wouldn’t you? So if you do win an award tonight, don’t use your platform to make a political speech. You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. So if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your god and fuck off.”