Carrie Fisher appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America last Friday (December 4), ostensibly to promote the new Star Wars film. She kind of did – but in the process she also provided what has to be one of the most electric, bullshit-free interview performances of 2015, in which she ruthlessly mocked the film promo process and called out the film and TV industries’ ingrained sexism in a way that left her prim interviewer crying with laughter. In this unmissable face-off between dead-behind-the-eyes TV perfection and brutal, brutal honesty, here are all the fucks Carrie Fisher didn’t give.
1. She brought her French bulldog, Gary
For the first part of this interview Fisher clearly doesn’t want to talk about Star Wars. She must have been talking about Star Wars for weeks, so she’s understandably reluctant to give the same, dull answers to the same, dull questions. To begin with Fisher just introduces us to her therapy dog, the brilliant Gary, who helps her manage her bipolar disorder. This is Gary:
“He wears that tongue well,” interjects GMA host Amy Robach. She’s only got a few minutes with Fisher, and really, really doesn’t want to talk about Gary. Robach wants to talk about Star Wars
Uh, Fisher wants to talk about Gary, Robach. Back off.
2. She made it clear she was going to be totally open about everything.
“We’re not even allowed to see the movie… but you have“, says Robach, all faux-excitement. Fisher is remarkably candid: “It’s really good,” she says, before continuing, “And I think in my mouth, so I don’t lie.” That’s what we call a fair warning, Robach. Ready yourself.
3. She made the host ask her dog Gary what he thought of the film
Robach probes for more information about the film and Fisher veers off to Gary. “Gary, you saw it.” The GMA host must be a bit desperate now – we’re over a minute into the interview and all she’s got from Fisher is “It’s really good.” Craving an answer, Robach asks Gary, who is literally a dog – just a dog – what he thought of the film. This look just about sums up what everyone thinks of that tactic:
Fisher does give an answer, though, and it’s dry as a bone. “The tongue wasn’t out of his mouth before he saw the movie and that happened. It’ll happen to everyone. It’s worth it though, that’s how good it is. You won’t care that your tongue is out of your mouth like that.”
4. She was crushingly honest about being a woman in Hollywood
“I understand George Lucas personally asked you to come back – did it take some convincing?” There are a couple of things wrong with that question. First is that George Lucas has famously had nothing to do with the new Star Wars movie, despite having created the franchise.
Second is that Fisher is not a diva, and suggesting she might be one is a bad idea. “No.” She did not have to be convinced. Read the face subtext:
“I’m a female in Hollywood, over the age of 40 and let’s say 50,” she replies. “You don’t have to ask if you want to work at that age. You’ll see someday.” Camera-ready Robach ripostes: “I’m over the age of 40, I hear ya.”
After making the above face, Fisher murmurs, “That’s upsetting.” More on that story later.
5. She “scoffed”
Robach, feeling the laser sights trained on her forehead, continues bravely. “How did you prepare to bring back this role? Did you prepare?” Then, faltering: “You’re scoffing at me.”
“I got in character, and I’ve never gotten out again and really I’ve tried everything,” is Fisher’s deadpan response. Robach’s still standing, so Fisher then does a little skit about when people address her as Leia and how she wants to respond to them – summed up by this brilliant face:
6. She skewered the film and TV industries for their ridiculous standards
This is where the interview gets really interesting. Robach starts diplomatically, with a rather circuitous statement. “You transformed physically for this role,” she says.
Fisher knows what she’s on about: “I did lose weight, and I think it’s a stupid conversation. Not –” she says hurriedly, realising she may have actually offended Robach “– with you! Not with you!”
“I mean it’s good with you,” she continues, “but normally I wouldn’t talk about it with someone else. But you’re so thin, let’s talk about it.”
On Robach’s figure, she says, “How do you keep that going on?”
“Do you exercise every day?” Yes, Carrie! Yes!
The interview’s in Carrie’s hands now. She’s asking the questions. “Isn’t [exercise] boring?” Robach, who works out every day, isn’t sure. “I try to put some music on to motivate me” is her unsteady reply.
Fisher’s not convinced. “What music makes this worthwhile? I want to hear what the song is – maybe I can go for it too.” Ice cold.
7. She did a callback to mock Robach
Robach begins a sentence with “Princess Leia.” Fisher jumps on it swiftly, sharp as a tack. “Yes?” she says.
8. She suggested Robach’s had plastic surgery
Robach assumes Fisher doesn’t like watching herself. “No that’s ok!” Fisher insists.
“I’m 19, why wouldn’t I like that? You like it less as you roll along. I can’t say that to you, but people that are normal – that have other genes, other than–” Here she gestures to Robach:
“They don’t like it as much. Not that you have an advantage with the DNA jackpot or anything, because I’m sure this is all what, a victory of plastic surgery?” She’s not done yet, but here’s a pic of Robach crying with laughter:
“No, your parents made it well,” Fisher concludes. “Please congratulate them.”
9. She took the piss right till the very end
As Gary falls asleep, Robach says, “I’ve never had someone fall asleep during my interview, Gary.”
“That you know of!” exclaims Carrie. “He’s an animal, so he doesn’t have as good manners as… never mind.”
As Robach attempts to wrap things up, Fisher blurts out, “You look fantastic.” Robach soldiers on.
“Star Wars: The Force Awakens“, she exclaims, as Fisher interrupts once more – “Oh go see it!” Robach finishes the interview crying with laughter. Thus one of the great TV moments of 2015 comes to an end.
See the whole, wonderful car crash here: