Noel Gallagher’s First Show On Absolute Radio: The Five Funniest Bits

Noel has landed. The Oasis man’s first show on Absolute radio aired last night and is now available to stream – check it out at the middle of this article. First, though, here are the five best bits on the anarchic show that featured Matt Morgan as a sidekick (formerly he was a sidekick on Russell Brand’s radio show) and tracks from Nirvana, David Bowie, Patti Smith and Motörhead.

On Mr. Blobby

Noel: “When he was on in the ‘90s – was it the ‘80s or the ‘90s? – I was obsessed with him ‘cause he’d just turn up and trash everything like a drunk, pink marshmallow. I thought it was anarchy, I thought it was the future.”


Morgan: “I thought he was rubbish… I thought it was tongue-in-check meant to be rubbish, wasn’t it? It wasn’t meant to be – here’s the future.”

Noel: “I’m gonna get a load of DVDs and play ‘em to my children. I think they’d love it.”

Morgan: “Yeah, but what happened to him? It’s like he was disgraced or something. He disappeared.”

On threesomes

Noel: “I’ve never had a threesome.”

Morgan: “Really? You could have done. Why didn’t you?”


Noel: “I don’t know, I don’t like crowds.”

On fearing his knee had had a stroke

Morgan: “You once told me you went to the doctor because you had one sweaty leg.”

Noel: “I had one sweaty knee… It was in the ‘90s. Clearly, it was all connected to raging drug abuse. I used to wake up and one leg – it was around the knee area – was always sweaty. And because you’re paranoid, I used to think: ‘I wonder what it is? Maybe my knee’s having a stroke.’”

On Be Here Now

Morgan: “Did you ever scream on a track?”

Noel: “I’ve screamed on one track. On a track called ‘Fade In-Out’, me and Liam did a scream. We had to take a week off afterwards. It was awful. If you hear it on the record, it’s put through a harmonizer and it sounds… it wasn’t very good. I’m closing my eyes now and thinking of it and I’m thinking it’s not very good.”

Morgan: “Was it used?”

Noel: “It’s on the album! Be Here Now. Still available. A nine-million-selling flop.”

On David Bowie’s death

Morgan: “It was a shock.”

Noel: “He did a photoshoot a few days before and he looked great… The insinuation is that he recorded [Blackstar] as a dying man.

Morgan: “If you found out you were dying, would you bother to go, ‘Oh, I’ve gotta do some music?’”

Noel: “It depends how I felt, really. I’m not that driven at the best of times. I wouldn’t have thought if I was on the way out… What I’d probably do is try to spend as much money as possible and settle a few scores. I don’t know if I’d be that bothered about going in the studio, you know what I mean? But I’m glad he did.”

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