Brexit’s been a bit of a balls-up, all told. But two things are for certain. 1) Britain voted to leave the EU last Friday and 2) the whole affair has made British politics look like the climax in a James Bond film; everything is on fire. Embrace it. Enjoy it. This is all we have now: watching the leaders of our country flail around and fuck things up, reminding us we’re not so bad at our jobs after all. Here are eight times Brexit made British politics look like Armando Iannucci’s painfully on-point and much-missed political sitcom The Thick Of It.
When Tom Watson went to Glastonbury just as the country was falling apart
A Labour coup is underway and judging by Tom Watson's Snapchat he was dancing at Glastonbury two hours ago. pic.twitter.com/yFYLWSnqPN
— Jim Waterson (@jimwaterson) June 26, 2016
“Where the fuck is Watson? Fucking GLASTONBURY!? Tell him to keep the wellies. He’ll be wading knee-deep into a pile of shit when he gets back.”
And then rode the comedown train back to Westminster afterwards
— Matthew Champion (@matthewchampion) June 26, 2016
Here we see Tom’s discovering the message he sent last night telling his boss Jezza Corbyn to “do one mate”.
When Boris Refused To Mop Up The Mess He’d Made
He pretended to want Brexit – after years of declaring his love for the EU – so that he could bid for PM after Cameron on a folk hero ticket. But then, oh dear, the Leave campaign accidentally won and Cameron resigned on the spot. Suddenly, Boris was less keen on running a country that had fucked itself harder than a right hook from Malcolm Tucker.
When Iain Duncan Smith Claimed He Didn’t Promise To Funnel £350 Million Per Week Into The NHS
Iain Duncan Smith backtracks on leave side's £350m NHS claim https://t.co/laMqMyIZhP
"Who put that bus there" pic.twitter.com/T9SSkZZpCD
— James Hobbs #FBPE (@HobbsJD70) June 26, 2016
The money we give to the EU can go to our doctors and nurses instead, that was the idea. But since the Leave campaign won, IDS has admitted that was BS. Claims he never said it, despite being photographed standing next to a bus with it written on the side in massive letters. Side note: he looks like Sam the Eagle from the Muppets.
When Nigel Farage And Bob Geldof Had A Flotilla Fight Along The Thames
Actually, that’s a bit too far-fetched for The Thick Of It.
When leave campaigner Daniel Hannan admitted that Brexit would not reduce immigration after all
Did you vote to “make Britain great again”? To keep out pesky immigrants who want to somehow take all of our jobs while simultaneously claiming all of our benefits? Bad luck: Leave campaigner and Conservative MEP Daniel Hannan admitted that Brexit would make no restrictions to freedom of labour after all. Whoops! Ah well, our economy will be worth three shillings and a handful of dust soon, so no-one will want to come here anyway.
When Michael Gove made the least tempting bid for leadership ever
“I did almost everything I could not to be a candidate for the leadership of this party”, he said, appearing to attempt an impersonation of a human being. “Whatever charisma is, I don’t have it.” You drive a hard bargain, Michael, but yes: sold! To the man with zero personality.
When it emerged that the Leave campaign hired a hypnotist
Yes, Paul McKenna advised on UKIP-backed Leave.EU promotional videos. McKenna didn’t actually train the Leave campaigners as hypnotists, but helped “produce social media ads that resonated with people”. Is is still creepy as fuck? Yes: it is still creepy as fuck.