The wisdom of Jarvis Cocker

Beanpole Britpop godhead Jarvis Cocker is hosting the our awards bash on Wednesday February 24. To celebrate, here are some of the former Pulp frontman’s wisest/funniest quotes. Pic: Richard Johnson

On growing old gracefully: “I always thought that I might retire from any form of sexuality by the age of 40 and just become a dignified older person.” (Interview Magazine, August 2009). Pic: Andy Willsher

On the power of music: “If you perform on a stage or you sing a song, it’s kind of like penetrating somebody. It’s like having sex with somebody – but, obviously, from a great distance.” (Interview, August 2009). Pic: PA Photos

On civil disobedience: “Given what has happened to the economy this past year, I’d advocate an uprising, nothing short of a revolution. We should take to the streets in protest.” (The Independent, May 2009). Pic: PA Photos

On invading Michael Jackson’s stage at The Brits: “Although I don’t regret it as a moral action, the fact it will be the first line in my obituary is just a little bit disappointing. I’d like to think I’d given more to the world.” (The Guardian, November 2008). Pic: PA Photos

On careerist rock stars: “Reading an interview with Razorlight is just like reading The Economist.” (NME, September 2006). Pic: PA Photos

On being an elder statesman: “Oh, I don’t know the answer to anything, I’m just a silly pop star.” (The Big Issue, December 2006). Pic: PA Photos

On being a sex symbol: “Anyone who thinks they’re sexy needs their head checked.” Pic: PA Photos

On weird fans: “I got a pair of red, synthetic satin women’s pants through the post the other day with a phone number on. That was quite strange. I haven’t tried the phone number. In times of stress I may.” Pic: PA Photo

On his taste in music: “I like bossy girls. I don’t like girls who just do whatever they think you want them to do, and follow you around trying to please you all the time.” Pic: PA Photo

On being an anti-Casanova: “I first started going out with this girl when I was 21 – I was a late developer.” (The Observer, March 2009). Pic: PA Photo

On being shallow: “My song ‘I Never Said I Was Deep’? That’s probably what should be etched on my tombstone.” (The Times, May 2009). Pic: PA Photo

On loving life: I’ve got to an age where I just can’t be arsed doing things that make me feel crap. So you may as well just do things that you enjoy. Say it doesn’t get you a multi-platinum album, at least you had a good time.” (The Times, May 2009). Pic: Dan Dennison

On advertising: “I was watching telly and that Johnny Cash song came on [‘Hurt’]. But it was advertising Nike trainers, and that struck me as being a particularly inappropriate use of music.” (The Observer, October 2006). Pic: Tom Oxley

On politics: “You’ve got a spectrum of different shades of, let’s say brown, given that Gordon Brown is in charge. David Cameron is beige, and whoever it is who runs the Liberal Democrats – Clegg – he’s chocolate brown.” (The Quietus, May 2009). Pic: PA Photos

On writing pervy lyrics: “The things in my songs are the edited highlights of my life. I don’t go seeking out strange sexual experiences every day of the week.” Pic: PA Photo

On being a showman: “You’re doing a show, so you should give ’em summat to look at, really.” (The Times, May 2009). Pic: Dean Chalkley

On his taste in newspapers: “I like to think of myself as a man with carefully considered political beliefs – but deprive me of a decent puzzle and my resolve falters.” (Q, June 2009). Pic: PA Photo

On what he wanted to be when he grew up: “I actually wanted to be an astronaut and a pop star. I don’t know how I was going to combine the two careers.” (The Herald Magazine, May 2009). Pic: PA Photo

On clubbing: “I used to look at older people who bothered to still attend nightclubs and couldn’t help but wonder why. Didn’t they realise how foolish they looked? Of course, now that I’m one of those people myself, I have decided that such rules don’t apply to me.” (The Independent, May 2009). Pic: PA Photo

On hosting the NME Awards: “That’s a challenge. But yeah, I hope to keep people interested, stop them from dropping off… So yeah, lets do it! I’m excited about it.” Pic: PA Photo